I spend a lot of time thinking about my “purpose.”
Of course, this purpose is much grander, important, and noteworthy than simply sweeping the kitchen floor, making sure everyone’s in clean socks, and teaching a scrapbooking class or two.
This purpose is BIG.
I’m not sure exactly what it entails, but I know cameras and red carpets are probably involved, and that I’ll need to go shopping for a new pair of shoes (and most likely an entirely new wardrobe).
This causes a great deal of personal angst. (Not the shoe part, but the part about it being completely different than the life I’m currently living. Because my life, by no stretch of the imagination, can be called a big life. And if I’m not living my big life, why not? And how do I get there? And what’s going to happen if I never figure it out and keep doing what I’m doing, only to totally miss that big life and big purpose that’s just out there, waiting?)
But then this weekend I stopped and asked myself,
“What if my purpose is NOW?”
Seriously — what if the life I currently have is EXACTLY what God intended? What if the crumb-laden floors, leaky toilets, cranky kids, miles driven to soccer and baseball and ice skating and math and play dates is the very life God designed for me? What if there’s nowhere he’d rather have me be than right here, right now?
Wow. That kind of changes things, doesn’t it?
It would mean, for instance, the attitude with which I go through some of my daily tasks (just hypothetically speaking, of course) might be seen as a tad, umm, diva-ish, kind of like Madonna making her fans wait two and a half hours before she comes on stage and gives a lackluster performance because someone put the wrong kind of designer water in her dressing room.
It also would mean that I’d have to kind of start focusing on where I am RIGHT NOW and doing the best I possibly can RIGHT NOW instead of constantly looking around me for that Bigger Better Deal (the one involving the red carpets and klieg lights).
And I just might have to start showing up with my game face on, ready to do battle on a daily basis, rather than viewing my everyday life as a dress rehearsal for something more important.
And possibly, those little tasks that I’ve been coasting through and not really giving my best? Those just might be a little more important and deserve more of my attention and effort than I had first believed.
And it could be (I’m not saying it IS, but just that it COULD BE) that instead of sitting around twiddling my thumbs like a character from Waiting for Godot, anticipating my big life stopping in front of me like a trolley car, opening up its double doors with a pneumatic hiss and inviting me onboard… Instead, maybe I’m supposed to find meaning in what I’m doing already. Yeah, right now.
Because maybe this “meaning” and “purpose” stuff isn’t about finding and discovering but rather accepting and infusing. Maybe we get to decide what’s meaningful and purposeful. And maybe we’ve been overlooking it, just like Dorothy’s shoes, because they’ve been with us all along.
Not saying it’s so. Just saying it’s something interesting to think about.