Category Archives for Life Coach

2018 in Review

One of my favorite movies of all time is Groundhog Day with Bill Murray.

In this family-friendly comedy, Murray plays Phil, a narcissistic and abrasive second-rate TV weatherman. To his horror, he’s assigned to cover the Groundhog Day festivities in Punxsatawney, PA. And he’s even more horrified when he finds himself repeating the same day — Feb. 2 — over and over. It’s his own personal version of Hell.

It isn’t until he learns his personal life lessons that he’s able to escape the repetition and move on to Feb. 3.

Our lives can be like that, too! We find ourselves embroiled in the same arguments with our spouses…

…the same sticky situations…

…the same health issues…

…UNTIL we own up, look at what we’re doing (and what we’re NOT), embrace the lessons, and correct our course. THEN we can move on!

At this time of year, many people are looking ahead to 2019.

Setting goals, resolutions, plans…

But they’re ignoring the biggest tool in their toolbox: A review of the previous year.

It is incredibly valuable to take time to sit and reflect on the past 12 months. As a forward-thinker, I can too quickly move into planning for the next year rather than looking at what went right (and not so right) in the preceding time period.

But moving forward without moving back can mean I repeat the same mistakes instead of learning the lessons needed to move on — just like Phil!

So in order to make 2019 as successful and productive as possible, here’s my recap of 2018 (and if you want to do your own recap, I’ve got a one-page Year in Review worksheet you can download here).

WHAT AM I PROUD OF?

  • Started working out at Orangetheory at the end of January and completed about 200 classes this year. I lost about 10 lbs. in the process as well!
  • Had my most financially successful year to date.
  • Deepened relationships with some great friends.
  • John and I started attending a small group through church together.
  • Ran a half-marathon in Dec.
  • Pushed myself outside my comfort zone in several key ways.
  • Started writing a new book.
  • Ran my fastest mile time in about 20 years.
  • Continued to donate 10 percent of each new client’s project fee to Kiva.
  • Did some great work for my clients, including Ryan Levesque, NSI Stem Cell, and James Swanwick.

HOW AM I DIFFERENT NOW THAN I WAS IN JANUARY?

I feel more peaceful, deeper in my faith, and more committed to my health. I also am more relaxed and optimistic, and I worry less (this has been a continuing journey). I also feel more confident. I’m also more comfortable about moving forward without an absolutely clear plan, trusting that the path will reveal itself.

WHAT ARE MY FAVORITE DISCOVERIES? (Products, books, movies, etc.)

  • Bombas socks — love them! (Use that link to save 25 percent off your first order.)
  • Orangetheory. I’m now a regular!
  • The Greatest Showman.
  • Mississippi Pot Roast. If you haven’t tried this recipe, make it TONIGHT!
  • Extreme Ownership. A life-changing book.
  • Working with Tony Bonnici on my “CEO mindset.” (If you need a business coach/mentor, I can gift you a session with Tony — it will ROCK YOUR WORLD. Just email me and I’ll get you set up!)
  • The 5 Second Rule. I am so mad I didn’t write this book. Reading it was the next best thing!

WHAT DID I LEARN THIS YEAR? 

So much! Tony and I have been doing some deep (and painful) work on mindset. It is NOT easy at all — and it is transformative. I must show up as the person I want to be. I’ve heard that advice 100 kajillion times — but I never OWNED it. I’m in the process of truly owning that and understanding what it means.

I also worked a lot on figuring out what the next step is for me. As much as I love copywriting, I’ve never felt it was my life’s mission — instead, my mission is related to helping others move beyond the limits fear has placed on them. I am an encourager, and I want to use that gift more purposefully in the coming years.

I also learned that there are about 450g in a pound. This is important to me for reasons yet to be shared. 🙂

WHAT AM I LEAVING BEHIND IN 2018?

Some more of the fear that I’ve carried with me my whole life. I will always feel fear — it means I’m growing! But my comfort zone is expanding, and my ability to deal with risk and uncertainty is growing as well.

I’ve also let go of some expectations that are very heavy.

WHAT AM I TAKING WITH ME INTO 2019?

A new sense of purpose. Some incredible friends. The goal to do “less, better.” Some amazing clients.

What about you? I’d love to know your answers. Download your worksheet:

Posted by LEadmin
December 21, 2018

Stop Thinking.

no one's waitingAbout seven years ago, I found myself in a rotten position. My dream job with my dream company had just disappeared, a victim of the changing world of periodical publishing. I faced the choice of either figuring out how to make some serious cash on my own, or having to go back to the dreaded cubicle life.

I opted for Choice A.

It wasn’t easy: I devoured crash courses in blog design and monetization (this was well before the easy-peasy one-click WordPress install. We had to deal with FTP sites, people!). I learned how to podcast, to live-stream, to develop content, to market that content, to sell. I wrote over 100 articles in a three-month period for an article site (back when those were considered great for SEO). I figured it out, fast, and in less than 18 months I was pulling in six figures. All from my little niche blog. It was heady stuff, man.

Soon, other people started interviewing me, letting me write for their sites, and including me in speaking opportunities. John Lee Dumas. Pat Flynn. Danny Iny. New Media Expo. I’d get emails by the bushel, all asking the same thing: How did you do it, and can I do it, too?

Well, no.

Did that surprise you? Probably. After all, I’m an encourager. But more than being the internet’s biggest cheerleader, I’m a realist. After working with hundreds of aspiring business owners and individuals, I know that most people will never break through to a profitable business.

Why?

They think too much.

Thinking is a good thing – in limited quantities. But the real power lies not in thinking, but in acting.

You can read all the business books in the world, listen to all the podcasts on marketing, prep your business plan, participate in masterminds, attend a dozen conferences, and still make nothing.

Conversely, you can have no idea at all what you are doing, throw up a half-baked sales page with a PayPal button, and have your first sale in the next 15 minutes.

What matters is not what you plan, but what you ship. 

You know that old saying, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions?” Well, the road to bankruptcy is paved in plans.

You have to act.

You have to push “Publish” before you think you’re ready.

You have to ask for the sale before you think the product is finished.

You have to stand up in front of the crowd before you know exactly what you’re going to say.

You have to have confidence that you’ll figure it out before you start. If you’re waiting for perfect knowledge, you’re going to be waiting a long time.

If you want to be successful, you have to cut down on the amount of time between an idea and when you put that idea into action. Everything I did that has made me money, I did scared, I did unprepared, I did before I was “ready.” I got it out there as fast as possible and let the market — not my own fears and limitations — tell me whether it was worth someone.

As a result, I was building my business while other people, with arguably better ideas and more resources, were still lining up the paperclips on their desk. I got my first class out the door, staked a claim, and started working out the kinks. I didn’t wait until it was “perfect.”

Not everyone — in fact, very few — can stand this level of uncertainty and imperfection. Not everyone is comfortable with the idea their product, class, email, book, blog post might have typos or be missing some key piece of information. Not everyone can jump into the void, hoping their homemade parachute can handle their weight. That’s okay — they can work on refining their ideas while I’m taking their customers.

That’s the way it works: Fortune favors the swift.

51Coyz8YBVL._SX324_BO1,204,203,200_One of the best books on business that I’ve ever read (and I read about 150 books a year) is Scott Adams’ “How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life.

His basic premise is that you throw a bunch of stuff at the wall. Most of it will suck. If you throw enough, SOMETHING will work.

He lists all the things he tried that didn’t pan out, like the Dilberito, a Velcro rosin bag, and Webvan. Ever heard of any of them? Maybe, maybe not. But I bet you have heard of his biggest win of all: Dilbert.

If Adams had just thought about all these things, he never would have acted. If he’d been afraid of failing, he never would have acted. If he’d let imperfect skills or information stop him, he never would have acted. Instead, he moved forward in the face of imperfection, knowing that it was just a matter of time. Success, he figured, was a numbers game. Enough failures would have to bring about a success.

“I’m delighted to admit that I’ve failed at more challenges than anyone I know,” he writes. “If your current get-rich project fails, take what you learned and try something else. Keep repeating until something lucky happens. The universe has plenty of luck to go around; you just need to keep your hand raised until it’s your turn.”

Don’t misunderstand Adams or me: Failure is not enough. You need to refine what you learn in the process. Take the knowledge, feedback, and new skills and apply them to your next go-round.

And you can apply this approach to any goal, from weightloss to building relationships to organizing your home: Try something. Figure out what works. Figure out what didn’t. Take your new information and try again. And again. And again.

The more you try, the more you’re apt to reach your goal, whether it be a million in the bank, a rockin’ hot bod, a better marriage, or a garage so clean it could double as an operating theater. 

This is the very principle behind the New York Times Bestseller “The Lean Startup: How Today’s Entrepreneurs Use Continuous Innovation to Create Radically Successful Businesses” by Eric Ries.

Businesses (and you can consider yourself a business) need to ship fast. They need to get a minimum viable product (MVP) out the door, into the hands of the end user. They need to take feedback from those users and iterate again and again.

As a recovering perfectionist, I get the desire to make it “right.” But I also know that it will NEVER be right. And YOU will never be successful until you put something out into the light. The number-one thing you can do to increase your chances of success is to do your homework and then let go. Stop thinking. Make your goal not to be perfect but to be fast. The second you slow down to ponder, “Well, maybe we should have put the button on the right side,” or, “Maybe it would have been better if I wrote the story from the third-person omniscient rather than first-person,” you’re sunk.

You don’t have the luxury of a second thought because while you’re proofreading your sales page for the fifty-second time, some 12-year-old in a basement in the Ukraine is creating a disruptive technology that is going to put all of us out of business. Our only hope is to get our work out there, fast.

By all means, do some research. Give your best effort at creating something — a family, a book, a new burrito. But stop waiting for it to be “done.” Instead, push your baby out of the nest before you (or he) feels ready. Get your work into the hands of people who can benefit from it. And when you fall on your face — which you will — remind yourself that failure is the path to success. And the faster you move, the faster you’re going to make it over the bumpy parts to the rewards waiting for you at the end.

Stop thinking. Start acting.

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P.S. If you’re interested in taking MASSIVE ACTION to your next goal, join my 90-day action pack accountability group starting April 4. Fill out this form and I’ll get back to you with more details if I think you’re a great fit.  (Don’t think too much about it – DO IT!)

The Problem with Gurus

gurusI’ve always felt uncomfortable with “expert” status. Because I’m always looking to push the boundaries of my knowledge, I never feel like I know enough to be considered an expert. Yes, I love to share my findings and my experiences, but I always do so from the perspective of, “Here’s what I’ve discovered, and you may find something else works…” or, in the words of listservs of old, “YMMV.”

This tendency never posed much of a problem until I realized I may grant too much power to those around me who ACT like they know what they’re talking about, but whose knowledge is no deeper (and often less deep!) than mine. I was recently introduced to a woman by a mutual friend who told me how intelligent, accomplished, and sharp she is, particularly on a topic I was learning more about. After spent 30 minutes listening to this new “expert” talk, I realized she was no more knowledgeable than I on the subject at hand, and I wondered why I had immediately gone into the conversation in the down-dog position.

I don’t consider myself to have a confidence problem. I just don’t feel comfortable putting myself in the “expert/guru” role when I know something, but not EVERYTHING. At the same time, I wonder if this lack of willingness to claim my expertise is hampering my ability to lead.

There are experts out there who never show a weakness or doubt. There are experts who claim their guru mantle with great enthusiasm. There are experts who present a flawless, teflon surface so shiny that you can see yourself.

This is not me.

I am riddled with smeary fingerprints. I have loose edges, doubts, and fears. And I write about these shortcomings, putting my messy interior living room out there for all to see.

As much as I want to pretend I’ve got a perfect life and that I’m perfectly in control, I cannot possibly maintain that facade. I’m imperfectly perfect, I’m joyful and fearful, and authentic to a fault, and I’m enjoying making each day a journey of discovery. What you see is what you get, for good or bad. I’m not a brain surgeon or military commander, someone who must present a picture of total command and control. I’m a writer, an explorer, a leader. I figure I’m entitled to still be figuring some stuff out.

I was struck by a passage in the book my coaching group is working through this month, “The Dance of Connection” by Harriet Lerner. She writes, “We help others as much by sharing our only-too-human side as we do by sharing our skills and our competence.”

I really hope that’s true. I’ve always found myself more drawn to those who share their falls than those who tell me how great they are. I’m sort of tired of looking for the magic leader with the magic beans. After all, I think we all know by now that all those “flawless” folks are as screwed up as the rest of us.

While I’ll never feel comfortable saying, “This is how you HAVE to do it,” I will be the first one to say, “I’m not one hundred percent sure — but I’m confident we can figure it out.” I’m betting that’s enough.

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